The muthafucking Quaker Oats muthafuckas told me they’d get back by now.

“Just ’cause you pour syrup on something doesn’t make it pancakes”

“Girl, do you think I really look like the Gottdam Muthafuker that was driving Miss Daisy?!”

“But I like fried chicken”

motherfucker!! i’m a motherfuckin movie star and this is the shit i’m motherfuckin fucking! That’s some bullshit!

Not so tough now, are ya?

I remember my first time, it was out behind my uncle’s barn with my second cousin. She was two tons if she weighed a pound, I could have done better for myself.

The next words out of her mouth – “Are you even listening to me?”

Why couldn’t I have been “Mr Voice Over”? I could have been balls deep in sweet, step-grand-daughter vagina…

Samuel L. Jackson is tired of these motherfuckin’ waiters in this motherfuckin’ restaurant!

That’s the face of complete and utter resignation. Sam Jackson does not give a fuck.

While strolling through Palmaria, Italy, Samuel L. Jackson serendipitously came upon the only black woman in the whole town.

“Is that her real hair? Gotta be a mother fuckin’ weave. Definitely a weave.”

Redd Foxx is still alive? Who knew.