superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    They PhotoShopped the hair in very nicely.

  2. This fine malt blend has aromas of broken homes, Sienna Miller, and abandoned children.

  3. Short Round

    This is apple juice you bastards!

  4. Visible Ink

    For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.

  5. “When you are a balding, middle age actor who wants to bang his kids nanny, use Jonnie Walker to impair her better judgment.”

  6. Dos Equis light – The least interesting man in the world.

  7. “Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste!’

  8. Damn. I got here late. This thread is already full of win and went with the jokes I was going to make.

  9. Blended scotch… pfft.

  10. Johnnie Walker — making rape taste more gentlemanly since 1829.

  11. Schlager. Gold Schlager.

  12. “Johnnie Walker fine spirits. Where we fuck everyone else and pass the savings on to you.”

  13. Slappy Magoo

    I don’t always think about my increasingly receding hairline, but when I do, I reach for Johnnie Walker…

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