1. “Siri, where is the nearest person who will give me money for doing nothing?”

  2. Pilin

    “Siri, why the BangBus van is delayed??”

  3. Donald Sterling

    Let’s see how many planes I’m going to be missing on today’s calendar.

  4. “‘Scuse me, on my way to see John. No, not a john, his name is John. OK? A man named John why I will perform sex acts on for money. You’re twisting the truth!”

  5. Ronaldo

    She just HATES bras

  6. cc

    Do you have to hurry to not show up to shit?

  7. cc

    Ah yes, the fake iPhone full of blow trick.

  8. Her nipples will soon be parallel with her belly button.

  9. From all the thumbs down on everyone’s comments, it’s become apparent that Lindsay has even more time on her hands than we thought.

  10. How coincidental is it that she’s made herself look like the cover of Almost Famous?

  11. silly goose...

    …that’s not Lindsay™, that’s a 50 y/o over the hill hooker.

  12. ‘What do you mean, ‘nipples out of range?”

  13. “Siri, whose iphone did I steal?”

  14. Rex Reed

    Siri Where is my next Arab regular?

  15. “Siri, how many undeserved opportunities will I throw away today?”

  16. “Shit! I can’t believe I actually had to pay for most of this stuff.”

  17. Johnny Barbells

    …i’m guessing that at around 9:02pm, lindsay A) ran out of coke and crashed, B) logged off to go score more coke, C) her john showed up, D) her phone died

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