superficial

  1. EricLr

    Did he get his hair from a lego person, or is that shoe polish applied directly to the skull?

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    she’s trying to avoid a brown stain on the back of her dress.

  3. Dan Quayle

    Weiner to close

  4. Joe

    I thought he was a bottom.

  5. Cock Dr

    It must be tiring to be bisexual…..wanting to fuck & be fucked by EVERYBODY.

  6. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    Seems tense. You know what’s good for that?

  7. anonym

    John, I know you’re gay, but please pretend you’re not for a second, and pose for the camera.

  8. “Keep that away from there! I’m not one of your masseurs!”

  9. dontkillthemessenger

    Give up the act…

    I’ve seen Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest look more comfortable in pictures.

  10. your mom

    “We do it like this, to eliminate as much of the icky girl factor as possible. Sometimes I wear a baseball cap and everything!”

  11. K-Tron

    This must be an important premiere. He Busted out the fancy wig AND the fancy beard.

  12. Even Twilight is a better love story than this.

  13. mamamiasweetpeaches

    A whole lotta ass-fuckery going on

  14. Kodos

    What a waste of a fine woman.

    Kelly, you break my heart…

  15. Johnny P!

    Too easy.

  16. This video makes so much sense now.

  17. disillusionisreal

    “Este pene es mío!”

  18. DeucePickle

    Every butthole here is in danger

  19. Jack Ketch

    Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher acted all kissy-kissy touchy-feely just after the hot tub cheating, too. Of course.

  20. Urvag

    Truth is that her right hand is reaching back trying to feel for his wallet: gotta make sure he’s gonna pay up for this fake photo op.

  21. Bonky

    That’s one woman who will never have to worry about her husband coming home drunk and wanting anal. She’s a woman, get it ?

  22. The Pope

    Kelly: Oh, John! Is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

    John: It’s a phone.

  23. This not-at-all awkward or forced pose should go a long way to dispelling those gay rumors.

  24. kimmykimkim

    Joke writes itself.

  25. neo_v

    Alex – what is a position I have never tried…..with my wife?

  26. Jonesy

    Oh John, please not in the ass again.

  27. Ammortal

    “Not in the butt John. I know where that thing’s been.”

  28. Anybody else seeing this here…? Green skin, couple of neck bolts, same hair…

  29. “Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you looking at Alexander Skarsgard?”

  30. Lord Invader

    This pose is known as the Scientologists railgun. Let ‘er rip, John.

  31. cc

    Did someone draw the hair on his head with a marker pen?

  32. I’m extraordinarily pleased that her dress matches his tie.

  33. Is that a Thetan in your pocket, or are you happy to… goddammit it’s another Thetan.

  34. Ollie

    She’s giving him the porno tap-out.

  35. Travolta looks like Fido’s ass…has he turned zombie?

  36. Swearin

    Check out his new book, “Glamouring Hot Women: What Gay Vampires Everywhere Need To Know”

  37. JoJojojo

    “Whoa whoa whoa, keep that thing away from me. I have a lady butt.”

  38. cagster

    You’re not fooling anyone Travolta, least of all Kelly…

  39. This looks about as natural as Courtney Stodden

  40. Veronika Larsson

    Someone posed two mannequins and took a photo of them?

    Yes, they do look a bit…awkward.

  41. KNeel

    “See? See? I told you that I like berginas.”

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