superficial

  1. “Miss, you don’t understand, this is public prop–”

    “No, you don’ unnerstan. This is m’house.”

  2. She always looks like she’s trying to explain to a police officer why she did something wrong. If she whips them jugs out, all will be forgiven!

  3. “… and an extra $50 if the dog joins in.”

  4. Spare some change, sir?
    You’re not going to use it for booze are you?
    So…can I have it?

  5. Ma’am, we heard screaming.

    Screaming? We were fucking, Eddie! Fucking!

  6. “The last thing I remember was running out of soap…then fast forward 15 years later, and here I am!”

  7. Spleen

    I thought direct sunlight would kill her.

  8. Johnny Barbells

    “anal is an extra 4…”
    “400???”
    “no…4 dollars.”

  9. This is the cleanest she’s looked in a long time.

  10. “Please sir, can you spare me some crack?”

  11. All I know is, that looks like a borzoi, and no one in the company of that deserves one.

  12. B-rock

    “Excue me, miss, which way to downtown?”

    “Go where my nipple points, and give me 50 cents”

  13. “C’mon baby. Mama’ll suck your dick real good!” “Huh, look lady, here, just take the five dollars.”

  14. Kenneth

    Paz: “i’ll suck your fluffy white dog dry for a little sniff of the good stuff”

    Guy in Jeans: “Only if you let my dog mount you from behind”

  15. And the dog lifts its leg in 5…4…3…2…

  16. “So, I’m all like, ‘Ya! I’ll try heroine once? What’s the worst that could happen?’”

  17. “C’mon…Gimme a break, officer. It was only a half-pint.”

  18. “Wait, you want me to pay YOU forty bucks to suck your dick?”

  19. “Twosday? Thurstonday? I don’t know what day IS it?”

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