1. “Nope, nothing… You’re barking up the wrong tree, sweety”

  2. He almost became straight, almost.

  3. Chicks love gay dudes.

  4. cankles

    throw away the sugar cube and she’ll leave you alone

  5. “He…he makes me, rate his bowel movements every night after dinner.”

  6. Mario, no…seriously, no kidding. I only have to sleep with the beak-nosed, unfunny hack once a year and I get ½ of his $100,000,000.00 Sirius/XM contract. I know, right? Totally worth it…

  7. renotastic

    “Take me, Latino Seacrest! Take me!!”

  8. “Would you like to see my penis?”

  9. “Fer fuck sake, Lopez. Howard Stern banged that woman and she undoubtedly had his penis in that mouth. And now you’re touching her? Ewwwww…”

  10. Bishop

    “Mario, you’re standing on my dick!”

  11. Unbridled passion.

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