1. “I’m telling you, I have the most awesome dungeon under my house. You can keep your mother in law of those kids in there for weeks!!!”

  2. catapostrophe

    Sign outside Hyde Nightclub yesterday: “We will be closed tonight for a private, douche bags-only reception. See you tomorrow!”

  3. Yeaaaa… This seems right… Shhhh! Just let it happen…

  4. tlmck

    Good to see Jerry and Dean back together.

  5. And finally the immovable douche collides with the unstoppable douche. Philosophy yo!

  6. “What if I told you that I could make these bitches get naked for a 6 pack of Mike’s Hard?” “Joe my friend, call me when one of those whores gives you a mansion.”

  7. Well, we know who Joe had sex with that night.

  8. “…Oh yeah?…Well meet me out back asshole ! We’re gonna have a Douche-off!”

  9. There’s so much douche in this picture, you can actually smell the vinegar.

  10. “C’mon, Scott, be a brother. Your old lady said she’ll fuck me if it’s OK with you. Whaddaya say…???”

  11. cc

    Dear President Obama…can you immediately authorize domestic drone strikes?

    Thank you,

    A concerned citizen

  12. The douches will wrestle for the title of “Alpha” until one manages to clamp his teeth on the back of the other’s neck and mount him in front of the tribe.

  13. Why wasn’t Billy Zane invited? “One shot, two kills.”

  14. pinkslime

    “i’m popping an equally as impressive vein in my dick for you, scott”

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