superficial

  1. No way that’s her son. There’s just no way.

  2. If you eat this whole bar of soap, Mommy will give you a dollar.

  3. “Who is my daddy?”

    “Shut up and play with this handful of sand”

  4. She smiled? Shit, this kid is a goner for sure now.

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    Remember how much fun you’re having today because Father’s Day is in 2 weeks and I don’t want to hear shit out of you.

  6. cc

    “Hold it up to your ear and you’ll hear your father.”

  7. Miley Cyrusis aslut

    This is a “fake” January, hired to take the kid to the beach in hopes of losing him. There is no way that is the real January Jones, this person is actually smiling, and with their teeth visible to boot.

  8. anybody else notice the dead leopard granny panties?

  9. Just FYI, that squirt gun she has in her hand isn’t filled with water – that’s straight sulfuric acid.

  10. JimBB

    “You wanna see where the sea shells come from? Follow mommy.”

  11. Adrienne

    “Pharrell’s my daddy?”

  12. Helena Handbasket

    Why is there a cement truck and orange street cones behind them?

  13. “No, I’m not distracting you with this handful of sand, so I can shoot you in the face with the gun I modified to look like a super soaker. Why would you think that?”

  14. Cute hat she’s wearing and her little one is adorable.

    January could have had an abortion, you know, and I doubt anybody would have ever known.

    Instead, she kept the child and she’s raising him on her own, even though doing so subjects her to the japes of Americans whose double-standard morality is firmly stuck in the 1950s.

    In Sweden, a woman having a child out of wedlock and raising the child by herself is not a big deal and certainly no one would dare say a mother doesn’t love her child or want the best for him.

    But all part of the rampant misogyny unleashed on this site. The site writer, “Fish”, claims to be a liberal. But only on certain issues: on the issue of women’s rights, he’s as bad as any of you.

    • fuckface

      oh well.
      blow me slowly

    • I’m disappointed in you, baby. The jokes we make about January are not based on whether she’[s a bad parent or not. They’re based on the fact that whenever she’s caught in public with the child she usually has a scowl on her face as if she is about to go on a killing spree.

      From the fact we joke that she hates her kid. It’s just a joke. As is everything else here. Here’s a protip: anytime you find yourself getting offended on this site, especially when it comes to so called misogyny, just look at the name of the website and it will all make sense.

      • It it was just January, I’d be fine with it. But the jokes involve a small child who never asked to be born to a celebrity mother. Joking how his mother wants him to die, etc. is just not right.

      • Good lord. It’s not like he’s going to read this. He’s a cute kid, and besides, we’re taking pot shots at his mother.

      • First the kid has got to learn to read, then he has to learn to surf the web, find this site, go back to the old posts, then he has to compare his real life situation to what people say on the internet.

        You’re drawing a pretty long bow on this one.

    • It’s just a joke, an ongoing one on here, just like Jon Hamm’s penis and Sarah Jessica Parker as a horse or Alexander Skarsgard impregnating women by being near them, no one really thinks she is a bad mother. Relax.

  15. fuckface

    when did Joel Silver die?

  16. “Happy birthday! Here’s a cat turd. Don’t eat it all at once, this has to last you through the week.”

  17. Vlad

    Now here, put this clump of Potassium on your head and Mommy’s gonna’ shoot it with this Super Soakerâ„¢

  18. Jack Ketch

    I always marvel at the fact that Claudia Schiffer stayed married to Matthew Vaughan despite her knowing that he knocked up another woman… and she does know. :( Oh well… Happy Hump Day, everyone ;)

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