1. Tom Cruise's Magical Penis

    You must be at least this Dopey to ride this attraction.

  2. She brings him along so his walker can get them to the front of the line. Maybe she’s not so dumb after all?

  3. The comments don’t update when you switch photos anymore, Fish.

  4. JC

    Watch as a grizzled, gay biker takes time to comfort a scared, 14-year-old prostitute.

  5. This ride seems to have a pretty good Airbag system. Oh wait…

  6. yourmom

    THIS will show them I’m not old, right Dougie?

  7. “Why is she always insisting we go to Disneyland? She’s like a ch… Ohhhhh, riiiiight.”

  8. I keep picturing a team of Disney’s brightest Imagineers standing around Courtney…scratching their heads and saying “It just doesn’t look real enough, that Lincoln robot is sexier”

  9. Doug, if you’re reading this: take those stupid looking fake bandanas off your head. We realize you think you are hiding your baldness from us, but trust us, it’s bald is way better than those hideous things. You’re welcome.

  10. She’s only famous because she’s his child bride, but he’s only famous because he’s married to her. They’re like a human centipede of fame leeching.

  11. guest

    Why is she holding her boobs? She afraid they are going to fly off during the ride?

  12. Is her chaperone the Brundlefly version of Cheech Marin and Hulk Hogan?

  13. Swearin

    And then later, they went back to their hotel room for their own version of “It’s A Small World After All”

  14. The next day the entire park was closed down for an extra five hours so all of the seats on all of the rides could be steam cleaned with boiling Lysol.

  15. Toobad

    We know there isn’t a god because this ride didn’t malfunction and release those safety harnesses halfway through.

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