1. See, if your shoes ain’t tied, the ho will survive the stomping.

  2. “This is where the ankle bracelet would normally be, but I’m a celebrity, so that shit ever happens to me.”

  3. “So I got this blade mechanism put into my ankles like fighting cocks have… You never know when you have to trample a 13 year old”

  4. “I thought I smelled dog shit until I realized it was just me.”

  5. Eh, just a little bit of blood spatter…

  6. ThisWillHurt

    “They’re white, but the material makes it easy to wash off Rihanna’s blood after one of our ‘dates.’”

  7. Give him a break, he’s just trying to enjoy his shoes while they’re still sparkling white. They’ll have Rihanna’s blood on them soon enough.

  8. BB

    “I’m always tellin Biebs if he wanna live the thug life he gotta keep his achilles stretched out real good for shitkickin and all dat but I think he find it hard to stretch it proper cuz he treat his ankle like it his waistline, that why he ain’t had no mugshot yet for disrespectin the ladyfolk.”

  9. Cock Dr

    And after the dumb cunt cried all over the media about how much she loves and forgives him he kicked her ass right to the curb.
    I’m sure he got some good hatefucks in there before her gushing entertainment career rehabilitation statements which was probably the main thing he was angling for. It’s not like douchebag Brown is heterosexual…we’re not fooled.

  10. Another tattooed thug wearing Jordan’s making Michael Jordan richer. Meanwhile you know who you never see wearing anything Michael Jordan, shoes or otherwise, Michael Jordan.

    • wait, Michael Jordan IS Michael Jordan – so isn’t he ALWAYS ‘wearing’ Michael Jordan?
      I think MJ earns more in the time it takes him to fart than I make in a year.

  11. Mr. Poop

    “This is the part of the shoe that really did the most damage when I kicked Rihanna in the head”

  12. eatme

    “this is my right foot”

  13. Meg's Attitude

    Will somebody please explain to me why this douche is still getting any publicity whatsoever? Why can’t the media just bury him.

  14. “This is the boot I’m going to plant in Rihanna’s ass later.”

  15. “I lost everything….everything I had. Didn’t even have enough money to buy new shoes. See? Deez still have Rihanna’s makeup on em.”

  16. If youz lacems up tight rights here, them won’t get stuck when ya kickem hard in the vajayjay!

  17. “Telegram for Chris Brown…Telegram for Chris Brown…ahhh, there you are, Mr. Brown. The telegram reads: ‘Dear Chris Brown, We fucking hate you.’ And it’s signed ‘Planet Earth.”

  18. Pine Table Fever

    13′s were one of my favourite Jordans. Not any more, now this hateful little cunt is wearing them.

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