superficial

  1. Did she and Snooki trade bodies?

  2. broduhjenner

    have we ever seen Rachel Ray and Kelly Clarkson in the same room? THINK ABOUT IT

  3. “Then I slapped the sunglasses right off the back of Guy Fieri’s head!”

  4. “…and thats when I realized, thats not a sauce covered baby back rib I was sucking on.”

  5. JimBB

    “I just ate Selena Gomez.”

    “What did she taste like?”

    “Like fresh salsa with a tiny bit of maple syrup.”

  6. crb

    “So then Gordon Ramsay says to me, ‘Shut your f**kin’ harpy mouth you gigantic sausage-bodied, suet-faced, cock-yodeling, bar-wench and f**k-off outta my kitchen!’ And I’m all like, ‘Man, I don’t need this! I don’t need nothin’. I don’t need nothin’!! I make 20 million dollars a movie. I’ll buy my own charity, man!’”

  7. Slappy Magoo

    Ehrmagerd…ehrm errellephant!

    “Did she just say she’s irrelevant or an elephant?”
    “Does it matter?”

  8. Is that chest hair? Anyone seen Simon Cowell recently?

  9. Sometimes when nature calls, nature calls…

  10. Don Draper's Dad

    Never trust a skinny chef.

  11. cc

    Not 148 water, I’m guessing.

  12. Johnny Barbells

    Never go full Jabba.

  13. tlmck

    50 pounds lighter and she’d be hot.

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