1. Not so precious.

  2. Remember in Cool Hand Luke when he ate 50 eggs?

    Fuck you and your puny eggs.

  3. Cock Dr

    Doesn’t need more of anything.
    She’s absolutely perfect just as she is.

  4. ThisWillHurt

    “This has a chocolate filling, right?”
    “Um . . .”
    “You’re right, it’s more fun to find out.”

  5. I cant stop laughing. Anyone that loves this girl should have just said, “honey, no.”

  6. catapostrophe

    “When I asked for a 12-pounder, this is not what I meant.

    … I meant a gigantic hamburger.”

  7. Jawbreaker eating champion 2013

  8. Patrick Swayze

    ” I carried a watermelon. “

  9. Why did she pick the one that looked like a watermelon? You’re not helping.

  10. blah blah blah fat blah blah blah something racist.

  11. Deacon Jones


  12. “Dis ball lookin’ delicious”

  13. You’re supposed to use a bowling ball that is 1/10th of your weight, so she should be using a 350 pound ball.

  14. Bringbackbabalu

    Damn, that big black bitch be luvin’ her some watermelon!!

  15. Juch

    “I got the green egg, now where is ham?”

  16. “Everlasting Gobstopper, my ass!”

  17. Fingergod

    “I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!”

  18. facefuc

    i thought that was a watermelon

  19. Wow, an appearance at the “Second Stage Theatre’s 26th Annual All-Star Bowling Classic” – I guess Oprah was right, this fatso can still find work after that one movie she was in.

    • Someone didn’t see Tower Heist. Or watch the series “The Big C” on Showtime. But hey, you know everything, right Mr. Lawyer?

      • oh, I stand corrected – of course you’re right, she’s a mega star riding a rocket straight to the top! 2 obscure pay cable shows?
        and wtf do you do for a living – from your extensive knowledge of women’s clothing terminology, I’m guessing you work at Mandees or some shit.

  20. Must be a Japanese watermelon.

  21. Her shirt doesn’t have a sliverback, does it?

  22. I am scared to think where that thing is going.

  23. mike

    “Yo, Panettiere, think you all that, I’ma show you what a REAL woman can do.”

  24. “I told that motherfucker if he slapped my butt again I would rip his balls off one at a time. Here’s the first one.”

  25. broduh jenner

    we should all be thankful that H&M didn’t ask her to do an underwear campaign.

  26. “I’m is a Bigfoot, but I’m a Bigfoot wiff candy!”

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