The world thanks you for leaving your shirt on

Is this the episode on Animal Planet where an Orca devours that surfer girl?

i thought money and fame landed you quality pussy?

Wait… Gary Busey AND Jonah Hill are having sex? With women?

There’s no excuse for the rest of us.

When you are a Jew like I am, even a talentless hack like me can leapfrog people that actually deserve it and get nominated for an Oscar.

What a slug!

haha hah thought that was miley cyrus for a minute

I wonder if he ever gets tired of shooing away Greenpeace boats.

He’s incredibly gross, doughy and pasty and his arms look tiny

Captain Ahab will never find him in that disguise.

Run, Shakira! It’s another sea lio—oh. That’s not Shakira.

He better give more thought to wearing black t-shirts in the ocean, especially in Australia, lest a great white mistake him for a seal and give him an impromptu tummy tuck.

Hey, excuse me, can you help me with my career? Hi, hello can you help me with my career? I’ll do anything. Hi, Miss- hello can you help me? I need help with my career, I’ll do anything. What the hell am I doing in the ocean already. Hello Miss, can you help me with my career? Hi excuse me Miss you look like you know.. can you help me with my career? Hello?

Again: the tiny hands. No one told the guy that to maintain weight loss you gotta lift weights and possibly cardio. See? ::points to Cheetos orange pot belly::

Hey! Wanna here an armpit fart? Hey lady! Hey lady listen! It’s the best armpit fart ever.Lady! Hey!

Beached whales.

Is that Tonya Harding?

“Hey, did you ever see that movie Superbad?”

He should just put on a shirt like that other guy.

I thought he was skinny now???