Sherp McDerp.

“Ms. Stone, are you happy with your long-distance provider?”

Said it before and I’ll say it again – Madonna #2

those Brazilians sure to love their Trannies.

“No, no, no… hear me out Sharon. It called Basic Instinct 4. David Lynch has commited to direct and Mickey Rouke and Crispin Glover are already attached….”

I bet Meryl Streep doesn’t tie clothes together out of rags.

Is it me or are her eyes an optical illusion? You can practically see them rolling.

Carnival must be utterly exhausting for the older folks.

I think they should breed her with Gary Busey to start a whole new species of crazy.

I thought the headline was “Sharon Stone, by Salvadore Dali”.
The Persistence Of Memory, indeed…
Everything sags, everything melts, everything ages.
Why is the woman famous for flashing her snatch in a no-so-great-movie from 1987(!) still in any way relevant?

I wanted to stick my penis in her vagina but not anymore.

Groan, another offer to play the Wicked Witch of the West.

I think this is the lady that played Jerry’s mom on Seinfeld. Right?

Your career called. It wants it’s 15 minutes back.

I like how she’s staring right at you with her left eye but the right one doesn’t give a fuck.

“Fucking Domino’s always asks the same question. Yes THE Sharon Stone.”

Sharon Stone at an event sponsored by Centrum? Kismet.

This isn’t Jennifer Lopez?

her face is ok but gaah her 50 year old cleavage made me throw up in my mouth a little

Basic Cable Instinct

Yes, Kris. I would love to try some Zestra arousal oil.

“Yes! I said the still pumping hearts from 3 newborns! On a sliver platter! NOW! I’m hungry…”

“Yeah, two pints of B+, and hurry. The sun is about to come up.”

Hello 1981, I’d like my tits back and my face.

Hello Satan? Yes I’d like my soul back, this fame whore bullshit isn’t working out.

Hello Photoshop, yes can you make a meme out of me? No? How about if I open my mouth wide? No? Yes this is Sharon Stone. How about if I flash my panties? No? How about if jump on stage and shoot out my period? No? How about if… yes I’ll hold”

How many more drinks do I need for that guy to notice me????

I want to stick her penis in my vagina

Hello, yes I’m happy you called. Yes I’m happy you had another baby. Yes I’m very excited that your kids are doing great in school. I’m delighted. Couldn’t be happier at all of your success. I truly and deeply love that you’ve had another beautiful baby. I’m thrilled beyond measure that you’re so happy, I’m happy for you. Can’t contain my excitement. I’m ecstatic. Thrill of a life time. Bounding for joy.

More gorgeous by the minute.

I think I have a UTI.

“..Why won’t my career PICK UP!!”

“No, Ms. Stone, we cannot bring you a virgin by midnight.”