superficial

  1. dontkillthemessenger

    This guy is the Jeremy Lin of douches… seemingly able to top the previous day’s douchieness when it appears impossible to do so.

    BTW, you’re not allowed to pick up roadkill in NY.

  2. That pelt looks like it came from a small timid animal… the only one that this frail douche could possibly kill…

  3. He’s mocking us.

  4. Waxes his eyebrows, but doesn’t shave his shoulders. Weird.

  5. Colin

    Johnny Weir? Is it Olympics time already?

  6. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    I cannot save you, People of Westeros, but you’ll have a faaabulous funeral.

  7. Spiderman better watch out. Kraven the Hunter is back and he’s FABULOUS!

  8. Phil Mcraken

    What’s with all the women at this sausage party

  9. That hair? You never go full Gordon Gekko.

  10. Bonky

    “So does this look work? I’m trying everything and I just can’t figure out what to do. Does this make me look like a pussy or a dude ? I can’t keep this up much longer. Please, somebody give me some guidance.”

  11. eatme

    fucking fuck i hate this fucking douche

  12. cc

    Unisex…sure, I’d use that adjective to describe him.

  13. j/k

    I’m trying out for Brokeback Mountain 2. Wanna practice?

  14. Flanderhall

    I’m the king of Owl CIty, hence forth you shall be called Sir Bag of Douche

  15. I’m guessing Jared here is the only person to fall for the ol’ “Unisex Collection” gag.

  16. BAHAH

    He’s dressing rather douchey lately, but I’d still do him.

  17. A shot of this guy with taxidermy on his neck makes me wish for a picture of Ashton Kutcher in a scarf in exactly the same way a picture of Courtney and Doug lolling about with strawberries on a boat makes me wish for a picture of Speidi with weapons in camouflage.

    Everything really is getting worse, isn’t it?

  18. Little Tongue

    Clearly slowly turning into a lemur…

  19. Raoul

    “Oh yeah? You knit? How quaint. I’ve been killing my clothes for years now.”

  20. CeleBaby

    omg those captivating blue eyes, Jared is so grogeous :)

  21. YoMamma

    I’ll say it again… he was so hot in My So-Called Life and now he looks like K.D. Lang. Such a bummer.

  22. Chris

    It’s one-expression man!

  23. They’re making a sequel to Zoolander?1? How come I’m just finding out about this now?1?

  24. Pewpsock

    1994 called, they want their shit back.

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