superficial

  1. Uhmm Louie? Beckham wants to have a word with you about using his signature move…

  2. Wait, wait wait… what exactly is “Splashing” in this reality show if THIS is the training? DO NOT WANT.

  3. A Nutty Professor reboot? I’m in.

  4. FUCKBEAST

    I bet his hands are covered in gunt sweat.

  5. Joe

    If you cover his face with your hand, you cannot tell if he is facing left scratching his ass, or facing right scratching his balls.

  6. for a second I thought Philip Seymour Hoffman was having some kind of horrible allergic reaction.

  7. If you help me find my keys, we can drive out of here.

  8. Fortunately, it was still there. He knew it now by touch, for touch had long been his only means of connection.

  9. Frank Burns

    “I know that emergency Snickers bar is down there somewhere . . . “

  10. “My name is David Beckham, and I am your twin brother!”

    “Oh, obviously! The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror.”

  11. Louis Anderson training for the reality show ‘Try to Find your Penis’

  12. Louis Anderson has really let himself go. Those words. I just said them.

  13. “Dick check. One, two. Check, check.”

  14. Deacon Jones

    If he was any whiter, he’d start looking like Carlton.

  15. Last time I saw him he was way more colourful. And tied to the top of a grumpy old man’s house.

  16. My girl, she’s one too.
    She’ll go and get her a skirt.
    Stick it under her shirt.
    She grabbed a razor for me.
    And she did it just like that.
    When she wants something,
    She don’t want to pay for it.

  17. If you think about it, he’s only fat when you look at him.

  18. Proof – there is no such thing as a fat pedophile – if you play hid the candy bar in your pants for under age kids, you tend to break down and grab it for yourself. There’s just too much temptation happening down there. :P

  19. The vertical stripe on his pants really works for him.

  20. broduh jenner

    this just in-sea world frantically looking for the escaped orca.

  21. “I know I put you in there somewhere, my sweet, sweet Baby Ruth!”

  22. I can’t tell if he is looking at Jon Hamm or a ham.

  23. “Goddamnit, I know I left my prick in here somewhere…”

  24. Swearin

    Someone get Captain Ahab, we’ve located his white whale

  25. Brit

    Splash? Divebomb.

  26. That’s why they put the zipper in the front Louis.

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