Sorry to tell you that Simon, your facelift sucks. Sue the doctor!
“What, me backwash?”
Another smart ass asking me about my shitty show’s ratings…don’t these people know who I am?
It appears that he doesn’t swallow like Kim does.
But I bet he does like the Golden Showers
Pepsi: drinking cup trademark.
Smug Pomposity: Simon Cowell trademark.
“Yeah Paula, drink up… That’s right, it’s only soda”
Hey baby, wanna see my moobs?
That’s right. Simon always gets the biggest black microphone.
“Just before the show I always drink a large glass of yesterday’s piss to set my mood.”
Bear Grylls get the fuck out of here.
Considering the time he spent broke and in his mother’s basement you’d think he’d be a bit more of a hero ’round these parts.
This guy is the ultimate tool.
He looks like the Grinch!!
Do they use a framing square when he gets a haircut?
No they use a Makita power planer.
“We’ve secretly replaced Simon’s Pepsi with a cupfull of Ryan Seacrest’s jizz. Can he tell the difference? Let’s watch!”
Is the label showing? Is it? Do I look hot? Do I?
You know you want to titty fuck me.
I see he’s drinking from “The Elixer of Douche.”
“are you lookin’ at my bum?…. cheeky monkey”
” ha ha … winning mutha fuckas …. cha ching all ova ya face!”
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Simon Cowell at a press conference for The X Factor in Los Angeles. (December 19, 2011)