superficial

  1. you know what that sound is, you thoughtless little pig? That’s me motorboating your stepmother!

  2. JimBB

    Even his dogs look pissed.

  3. Ben Dover

    Hey there’s Alec, his wife and daughter walking in the park

  4. ThisWillHurt

    “‘Walk the tiny dogs through the park’ you said! ‘It’ll relax you for once’ you said! Not only do I wanna kill everyone, I wanna kill EVERYONE!”

  5. After cleaning up their poop for the fourth time Alec lost his composure and mockingly made fart noises at his dogs the entire way home.

  6. Mohawk Disco

    - What a little shit!!!
    - I heard that. Fuck you too, Alec.
    - No, not you! I just saw what my dogs did!… (You little shit!)

  7. “Alec, talk to me like you use to before we were married.”
    “Pbbbbbt!” (hangs up phone)

  8. What’s that little pink satchel tied to the dog leashes – is that where his wife keeps Alec’s testicles?

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