superficial

  1. He just realized he has ANOTHER friend with a hot wife…

  2. I’ve never understood his hair.

    • I’ve never understood why we know who this fuck is.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      What is there to understand? He brushes his moobs twice a day.

    • Mike

      I never understood anything about this guy..
      Let’s check off the list:
      1. He can’t sing
      2. He can’t judge talent
      3. He has larger breasts than most of his ex-girlfriends
      4. He pays his exes to stay in “the cue” for slow weekends
      5. He makes 100x more money than any of us ever will

      • True he can’t judge talent, but he sure as fuck can judge what dumbass teens will buy enough to exploit it to the tune of almost half a billion net worth. Not something that impresses me, but it does make sense in this modern shit stain of a music industry.

        And it’s ‘queue for line’, just FYI. ‘Cue’ is the spelling for a billiard cue.

  3. JimBB

    Try new “Botox for Men”

  4. Charlie Sheen isn’t the only once banging 7 gram rocks!

  5. wait…if he’s at this party, then who’s buying shirts at Baby Gap?

  6. if erection lasts more than four hours, seek medical attention immediately.

  7. I suddenly had a casting idea for the live-action Attack on Titan…

  8. I find him so unattractive. Not even the foreign accent can save this one. Ick.

  9. Pilin

    “It’s free”………..

  10. Dr. Badtouch, child proctologist

    I FUCKING LOVE COCAINE!!

  11. Dr. Badtouch, child proctologist

    AND TOOTH WHITENING!!

  12. Dr. Badtouch, child proctologist

    AND LEAVING ONE TOO MANY BUTTONS UNDONE ON MY SHIRT!!

  13. Dr. Badtouch, child proctologist

    AND COCAINE!!

  14. I feel like I’m seeing a screen test for a remake of Airplane! You know the scene.

  15. cc

    Sure, I know Rob Ford!!! What of it?

  16. He just found out he saved a lot of money by using birth control.

  17. Don Draper's Dad

    I’m not not licking toads.

  18. You think he believes he gets laid for reasons other than money?

  19. Dox

    “I bang more women in one night, then you do all year. How’s that feel?”

  20. “What’s up doc ?”

  21. whatever

    ”i am happy that i am having a kid, this is not panic glowing in my eyes!”

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