1. “You do WHAT with my sons balls?
    And he pays you for this?
    Can I get a family discount?”

  2. Govt. Cheese

    Ooooooh, do we have a little Grandpa Gang-bang Action going on here?!?!?!

  3. Holy shit, I haven’t seen Kirk in years and he truly looks like shit.

  4. DeucePickle

    I don’t see them recooping the money they spent on this latest Men In Black sequel.

  5. Johnny P!

    Michael: “Man, I love the feel of that ass!”
    Kirk: “What’s that? You feel like you have gas? Me too!”
    Catherine: (through her smile) “Will you two old creeps just fucking shut up!?!”

  6. Barbosa

    wow..kirk is looking Great!

  7. If you wonder why she is manic-depressive, just look at the bookends.

  8. Snack pack

    “Mandelboob, er, um, I mean Baum. Mandelbaum!”

  9. it had to be said

    “Mikey, I always thought you were a little light in your loafers, but this little mynx has damned nice can-cans!”

  10. You know, the guy has to be close to 90, he’s had a stroke – fuck all of you that mock that.

    • Any Guy

      welcome to the internets, uptight douche.

    • gnarla

      Man, I wish there was a +1 button so I wouldn’t have to type it.
      Seriously, guys. Show some fucking respect.

    • See, that’s funny – I don’t understand people getting all bent out of shape here about mocking celebrities. For one, it’s the raison d’ĂȘtre of this entire site. Two, I’ve seen you rip on all sorts of celebs… why is Kirk Douglas above reproach? I’m not trying to pick an argument, but I honestly don’t understand the hypocrisy.

  11. irocksocksoff

    What’s Catherine Zeta-Jones doing with the cast of The Walking Dead?

  12. cc

    He’d make a good Scrooge.

  13. Any Guy

    you KNOW they’re both going to out-live KZJ. shit, Mummy Spartacus looks like he wants to grab some titty right now. that’s how them Douglas men live forever. run for ze hills girl. RUN.

  14. Contusion

    There is no caption as funny as the photo itself.

  15. Evil Dick Tater

    “From Gold-digger to Grave Robber in One Easy Marriage” by Catherine Zeta-Jones

  16. Cock Dr

    Kirk Douglas is still alive?!?

  17. Portraying Spartacus is clearly not good for your health…not at all.

  18. Venom

    I love Kirk Douglas, that is one bad motherfucker.

  19. Children of Chernobyl? A child from Chernobyl would be nearly 30 years old today…I guess the half-formed twin growing from their stomachs would be younger though.

  20. hbw

    Guess which one is a child of Chernobyl?

  21. “‘Scuse me while I drool on your titties, little girl. Do I know you?”

  22. bonerofcuntention

    Motorboat!

  23. i always thought Christopher Lee was taller

  24. Arzach

    Catherine and The Douglas Twins

  25. Aud

    How come Mr. Magoo has darker eyebrows than Baked Zeta?

  26. Duke Malibu

    Remembering Kirk the way he was then and the way he looks now only reaffirms the fact that getting old SUCKS !!!

  27. phoenix

    Someone call Marc Webb and let him know we’ve found the Vulture.

  28. Remakes of “Night of the Living Zombies.”

  29. “Hey, Michael…this is quite some girl you picked up. Great hooters. Does your wife know you fool around?

  30. BE

    No so lucky – unless you have miraculous health.

    It’s all perspective – when I see this picture and tack the two kids on (under the age of 12) – I see is KZJ having the pharmacy on speed dial for Xanax.

    I don’t care how much $$$ you have – someone has to hold it all together. KJZ is going to have the joy of raising teenagers about the time their dad gets senile. Whee!

    So don’t worry boys – KJZ will have more than earned what’s left…

  31. rican

    “HEY…How much?!…for your daughter!”

  32. Mike Walker

    Kirk looks like he just crawled out of the sarcophagus.

  33. bethy

    When in Chernobyl…..

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