Mimmicking his white forefather in the portrait behind him. )This is where his green eyes came from.)

“I’m not the vaguely familiar actor you’re looking for.”

No, man. Baby wipes all the way. Dry paper is so unclean.

These Are Not The Droids You Are Looking For…..

Distracting with one hand while stealing wallet with the other?

“Dude, I just finger banged Halley Berry…smell my fingers. Never mind the white dude in the painting eyes following you around. This is important!”

Malcolm X addressing a brother from the Nation of Islam?

Plymouth Rock landed on *US*!

Also, can anyone spare a few bucks for cab fare?

Hey man, who I gotta see about this Elmo job? Look at this… quack quack quack… that shit’s easy money!

“If I wave my hands in front of your face while I’m talking do you notice my creepy girl voice any less?”

And under the black was Emperor Hirohito!

No, I really was in Iron Man… no not the sequel or the Avengers, but I was in that Law & Order show that got cancelled… Next time baby!

And then I was like, “Here are your keys sir.”

“… so then I just put my hand up like this and went “blobideeshoopshampawow” and the next thing I know, Get Rich or Die Tryin’ actually happened.”

Lose the painting of Karl Rove for fuck’s sake.

“And just like that, I wave your gay away……nope! Guess not!”

Speculum? I don’t need no stinkin’ speculum!

“…POOF! You’re a black-Asian nerd!”

“Okay now picture a laser blast coming out of my palm, or a rocket firing off of my wrist…would’ve looked badass!”

Muhfugga so smooth he can hypnotize Marucorm Iksh just like that.

hey Rocky, wanna see me pull a rabbit out of my hat?