superficial

  1. He just noticed that he’s not on the Map of the Stars’ Homes.

  2. Problem?

    Is this Natalie Portman’s baby daddy? Ugh, he is so fucking creepy

  3. So, where are the 998 other legs?

  4. jd

    Is there a pic of this guy that doesn’t make him look like King of the Douchebags?

    • Satan's bitch

      No. No, there is not. That is because (drum roll) he IS the King of the Douchebags!!

      I mean, seriously, just look at the guy. I wanna slap the pretension off his face and it’s just a photograph. What was Natalie thinking?

  5. Whee!

    Aww, he and NatPo must share clothes.

  6. Few Frenchmen have personified the douchy arrogance like him… Well done, “he of the thousand legs”…

  7. Polo hat? Check. T-shirt tucked in? Check. Only thing missing is a gold cart.

  8. cc

    That’s what Portman does when he gets drunk….she drives him to a strange neighborhood and hopes he doesn’t make it back.

  9. Cock Dr

    As far as I know there’s been no marriage. He hasn’t got the prize quite tied down all the way.

  10. Jiminy Cryptic

    Oh look, it’s the Moulin Douche.

  11. Perplexity

    Nobody likes a mouth breather…

  12. Venom

    Ruiner of a good woman. Uggh.

  13. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    Sad but true. He still has to put his pants on one leg at a time.

  14. Even thousand legged insects can’t bear to put their stupid IPhones in their pocket for one fricking second of their lives.

  15. farting old man's wife

    He looks like an alcoholic, drug addicted, child molesting, animal fucking weirdo that hangs around playgrounds!!

  16. lolz

    I think Natalie Portman is gorgeous, but why would she bang this hobo looking nobody- gag WTF

    • Applied rough tools

      Because hes a deeply cultured man. See! He is not lost. Hes scouting for a spot to start Occupy Studio City…Chicks like Natalie dig that.

  17. squishy

    Ugh!

  18. VIT

    “I ……. DEEEIIIDDDD it……” – Eli Porter and Benjamin Millepied

  19. Wow, parenthood’s really done a number on him.

  20. The Brown Streak

    His name translates from his native land of Nonamia as “Boy of Thousand Urinations”

  21. This is so not fair.

  22. Arzach

    Ah, the Ballerina guy

  23. Schweddy Schnatch

    He has the very same expression on his face that Natalie had during the entire damn movie. Oh… the burden of my genius…

  24. He’s about to tour his neighborhood by dancing through it. Which explains the map.

  25. MrsWrong

    “This brochure? It’s not for ME…I just want to know what to tell my son if HE were gay!”

  26. is this what happens when you sleep with Natalie Portman? Star Wars magic!!!

  27. yenjvoy

    God : Alright, so you will be ragged mercilessly through your growing years for having Millepied for a name, and for being a supposedly straight male ballet dancer, but then you grow up and you will get to put a baby in Princess Amidala. We good?
    Millepied : Hell ya. Where do I sign?

  28. Steelerchick

    Look It’s Mrs. Portman.

  29. Does he really hate everyone or does he just look like he hates everyone?

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