1. America: Where parents don’t parent and dogs don’t walk.

  2. PassingTrue

    Hmmm, how can I exploit this kid for a few bucks?

  3. Schadenfreude

    “Yeah, I think we’re only a few months away from a full blown coke addiction. Does Nickelodeon have a Baby Rehab show? No? Can you pitch that and see if we can get one started?”

  4. ‘Yeah, well tell that bitch she’s either rescinding the restraining order, or I’m coming over there right now to jam this fucking baby right back where it came from’.

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    There’s no room for another white baby actor?

    Don’t worry, I’ll take him to the tanning salon… just to get a base.

  6. Oh, that poor, poor child…

  7. caley

    “Siri, where can I kick a woman in the vagina?”

  8. How soon after that kid learns to walk will Michael teach him how to properly kick a woman in her vagina?

  9. safety dancer

    This is a Halloween prank right? Cuz that shit aint funny.

  10. “I’m a piece of shit? You’re a piece of shit!” Go fuck myself? No! YOU! You go fuck yourself! Listen Lindsey, I have to go. We’ll pick this conversation up later.”

  11. “I have to help him fill out the employment applications, fer fuck sake. It’s not like he can write yet…”

  12. “You’re not supposed give vodka to babies? I did with Lindsay !”

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