“BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA You simple peasants think you can cook by my side!”
Smile when you call me “campesino,” Flaca.
Gwyneth Paltrow uses her secret ingredient: Tin Man’s penis.
“Hahahaha I gooped.”
“So it turns out that when I thought I was asking whether this lacinato kale was curated by local artisans making a living wage, he thought I said SWISS CH — hold on, I can barely breathe — SWISS CHARD!”
You actually believe I do this at home?! I haven’t laughed this hard since I received my complementary cleaning kit made from the tears of small children for my bald eagle hat and I got to fire my maid because she couldn’t open the box encoded to my fingerprint.
Somewhere in the world a commoner just died.
“I haven’t laughed this hard since Apple mistook Armand de Brignac for Armand de Périgord!”
I wonder how long it took for them to explain to her that all the people running around speaking Spanish weren’t just more of her servants and yes, she would have to interact with them, just like they were real people.
She’s clearly in pain from serving her own food.
“AHAAAHAHAHAAA! This peasant work is actually kinda fun!!”
I thought her husband was the only one that could beat her eggs.
Dinklage! Get out from under the table!
The guy on the right must be down wind.
“Oh man, I just thought of a name for my next kid…’Yolk’! How awesome is that? Ahahahaha.”
can you believe it? i’m cooking! i feel so common!
“They’re not free-range organic eggs?”
OH MY GAWD! is this what omelettes look like before they come out of the kitchen? I just assumed the inside of an egg was fluffy! Chris won’t BELIEVE this.
She has her own show in Spain? El Hormiguero, means Super Fake Idiot Asshole in Spanish.
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