1. “Can you believe this woman? She wanted my sausage fingers inside of her..Absolutely mad this one…”

  2. You mean people actually have to pay for these things? Why don’t they just ask their mum for them?

  3. “I Say! Did you hear Sir Calvin? He says the blacks are better at sport! Jolly good chap! Jolly good.”

  4. EricLR

    No really, you’re not going to believe this, but there are commoners in here who can read and write! They have those now!

  5. Bitch, be trippin’. I’m royalty. You better recognize. I never pay for shit.”

  6. TimmyB

    “Luv just grabbed me arse – right thru me knickers!”

  7. ThisWillHurt

    “I beg your pardon, kind shop-keep, but I have an inquiry. Does the fetching woman to my right come in a size ‘Me?’”

  8. “….still better than Camille, ammirite?”

  9. journalschism

    “Oh baby I want that car, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa…Sorry, that’s just my self-confidence coming out because I got a great deal on”

  10. Allison Wunderlan

    Her horse face is nearly as horsey as my wife’s is.

  11. “Was this bird pulling my leg when she offered to orally pleasure me for five quid?”

  12. “She thinks I’m Tony Blair!”

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