1. So listen, kid. I’m researching a new role that requires me to be a math genius so if you could just solve this problem, I’ll sign your book or something.

  2. “To my good friend Ping Pong…

    Reanardo Dicaprio”

  3. “Kid. Unless you’re Mom’s a Victoria’s Secret model, I ain’t interested.”

  4. “No, it’s not Godzilla. It’s just Jonah Fucking Hill who is stepping on people to get close to me.”

  5. cc

    Joli sent me.

  6. “Kid, just say “Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Jones!” and I’ll sign your back”

  7. Mistaking the little boy for an up and coming asian victoria’s secret model Leo tried to get a phone number.

  8. Swearin

    “You’re the man from the whiskey commercial! Can I have your autograph?”

  9. Oh god. Is bringing one of those home now, too?

  10. “Goddammit, I can never remember this. Remind me, do I write Pitt-Jolie, or Jolie-Pitt?”

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