Lady whispers: Unmarried slut…

“Oh, gosh. They let one of those pregnant teens in here. Get a reality show, you little trollop!”

Pregnant and still sexier than 99% of women.

I think they screwed up the translation of Shakira’s father’s book title – it’s not ‘the wind and random’, it actually translates to ‘pictures of my daughter from my bathroom peep camera’.

She’s gonna piss a lot of women off when she gets her old figure back a week after giving birth.

I’d have loved being the guy who got to knock her up. More fun than a whole book of “E”-Tickets at Disneyland. Better prizes, too!

‘My grandaughter wanted me to get your autograph Selena.’

Her hips told me she was on the pill.

“Your man looks like a chimpanzee!”