1. Smapdi

    I’ve an uneasy feeling that he has a hole cut in the back of that ukulele.

  2. Bonky

    “I’m gonna play you a song, it’s the first song my daddy played for me. I was six years old and my daddy said it was time I learned to drink like a man. So he pulled out a bottle of whiskey, sat down, started playing me this song and we drank all night until the sun came up.”

  3. Nolte is sooooo method. Who knew they were remaking Down and out in Beverly Hills 2….

  4. Animal

    Just drop the quarter in the fuckin’ hat already!!!

  5. I’m pretty sure this is how “Deliverance” started.

  6. EricLr

    I remember back when I was younger, when your grandpa and Eddie Murphy used to ride the rails and sleep in hobo towns all across the U.S. Back in those days, all we could afford was beans–”Hoover Beans” we called ‘em. Weren’t no work to be found.

    At least that’s how I remember it.

  7. Joe

    Nick Nolte shooting a scene for “Gulliver’s Travels”.

  8. “Hey Mister, I think that’s my Fisher-Price Pluck-n-Play you got there.”

  9. “Let me tell you about the time I killed a hobo to get an erection.”

  10. Frank Burns

    “Mister Nolte, can I please have my toy guitar back? You’ve played that song “Heegleth Bitthel Btomth” or whatever your saying for two hours now.”

  11. He’s singing for his supper.

  12. Inner Retard

    Nolte: You know kid when I was your age…
    Kid: I just want the guitar… to smash your face in before you start the same story again.

  13. meeps!

    Those new Country Bear Jamboree animatronics look so fake…

  14. Park

    And here I was thinking is voice was so fucked up because of smoking when he’s just trying to steal Tom Waits look after all.

  15. “Kid, let me tell you about the time I shit my pants on the Bumper Cars…”

  16. Look kid…I just found this here little guitar and backpack sitting here. Maybe they were yours, and maybe they weren’t. But it’s about time you learned “Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

  17. cc

    Mithter, I know a bitch hath to busk, but you’re in ma chair.

  18. Bionic_Crouton

    The little boy’s mother told her son “Give the blind, homeless blues player a quarter. He looks like he’s sobering up”.

  19. anyone else imagining the opening notes of Dueling Banjo’s…but like they were played by a drunken hobo, instead of a redneck inbred?

    Not sure what that difference would be, but I’m sure it’s subtle.

  20. Swearin

    The lead singer of Blues Traveler, circa 2030

  21. justin

    The other day Malibu Chili Cook-off
    “Da Na Na Na Na”,
    Had not one, not two but three bowls
    “Da Na Na Na Na”,
    Went and rode the bumper cars
    “Da Na Na Na Na”,
    Than I crapped my pants
    AND It’s so hard!!
    I got the shitty pants….
    I’ve got the shitttty pants blues.

  22. journalschism

    “Mister, can you say ‘Here’s your goddamn dinner’ again?”

  23. RHawk

    I wonder which one has pissed himself more recently.

  24. Vlad

    Don’t bother me kid, I’m “tuning my ukulele” (which is a euphemism for screwing the back of the tiny, Hawaiian guitar)

  25. “Hey, Grandpa, the man in the store took all of the money but said you have to get the wine yourself.”

  26. Liv

    give me my f@#$ing guitar back, you’re making me look bad

  27. hijkmno

    “Yeah, I play a little guitar.”

  28. donkeylicks

    “Excuse me sir, my mom told me to give you this dollar”

  29. He ran out of candy and had to improvise.

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