1. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

    “High 5 for nipples!”

  2. Victoria Silvstedt 2.0

  3. Mr. Poop

    hairiest tits ive ever seen

  4. DeucePickle

    Richer than you are, dude.

  5. EricLr

    As I waved goodbye to those desperate fame whores, willing to lower themselves to banging even me for just the *slightest* brush with fame, I realized how hollow my life had become. I this what I was put on their earth for? Is this all there is for Simon Cowell? Is this what my parents dreamed of me becoming?

  6. Moobies in motion.

  7. Johnny P!

    He’s filthy rich.
    Can’t he have the chesticles liposuctioned?

  8. missyS

    Some guys just have ugly nips….he’s one of them.

  9. catapostrophe

    The flies he’s swatting are attracted by the chest sweat odor.

  10. Look! There’s Sinitta in the background still stalking him!

  11. Bionic_Crouton

    “Hello. Yes I am Simon Cowell…. What? … Your wife?… She’s showering! You have a lovely boat!”

  12. Ollie

    Please keep your moobs within the vehicle at all times.

  13. Um, I remember when there used to be pink stars on this site that would cover precisely this kind of shit.

  14. I know they’re more liberal about going topless in public in Europe, but really!!! There’s gotta be some sort of limit on it!!! Think of the children!

  15. cc

    Sure, keep chumming for sharks with $1000 bills.

  16. the crazy betty

    nice tit-tays

  17. CranAppleSnapple

    He is absolutely repugnant. Another example of body dysmorphia where the afflicted believes they are gorgeous and hence can’t cover their damn fur moobs.

  18. White people always try to reinvent shit. A high fives needs contact man. Without contact your just a person waving hello. Ever since “blowing a kiss” avoided its cultural abortion white people have re-purposed tons of previously cool things. Next white people will start patting each other on the ass like sports stars but they will do it without contact and from twenty feet away. It will look stupid.

  19. tlmck

    I guess showing your tits does pay well.

  20. Oz Matters

    Last time I saw a chest like that, it was on frame 352 of the Patterson-Gimlin film.

  21. InkyBlack

    Looks like Meatloaf in Fight Club

  22. Blech

    I guess I’m the only freak who likes the chest hair.

  23. Lissa

    Hairy cow nipples..yum!

  24. Furry man-pies FTW!

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