1. alex

    He Kutchered the beautiful out of her.

  2. Contusion

    Suddenly I feel like going bowling.

  3. Is this just an incredibly long and involved Punk’d, where Ashton gets her to date him and he has sex with her and feeds her fried chicken 5 times a day and then he pops out from behind a curtain and is all, “You’ve been PUNK’D!”

    And then she takes a handful of oxy with a bourbon chaser.

  4. it had to be said

    Meh. Still would.

  5. First a hunk like McCauley Caulkin, then a genius like Ashton Kutcher…what chance do us normal folks have?

  6. Billy Barty, Jr

    I first thought she had Daddy issues – but what amalgam of Maculay and Ashton would make sense in that respect?

  7. Relationship weight

  8. EricLr

    Once again, let’s all give a big thanks to Ashton.

  9. clearly she’s getting all the calories Demi used to spit out…

  10. Cock Dr

    Sex with Ashton Kutcher causes either extreme water retention or anorexia…there’s no in between.

  11. Jman

    So the Paul Simon face wasn’t an anomaly.

  12. catapostrophe


  13. jesus…how much fluid is Kelsoe pumping into her?

  14. CK

    Seriously, is she turning into Meg Griffin?

  15. “Right above my vagina I want you to put ‘Ashton was here. And he’s going to be right back!’ and a tiny red rose.”

  16. lori


  17. lily

    never thought she was stunning, but she looks so bloated and aged recently. an example of a female who cannot carry any additional weight or she looks like rosie odonell

    • Bianca

      I’ve always thought she was a beauty but she seems to be suffering the Eastern European curse of aging a decade in a day. I wouldn’t be surprised if next week we she her beating a little kid with a wooden spoon while wearing a Babushka.

  18. I… I don’t even know what to say.

  19. moon pie anyone?

  20. Ghosthost

    +1 who is she???

  21. nutterbutter

    Isn’t she married to major dad?

  22. Sami

    have any of you thought that maybe she is gaining weight for a movie role? It happens

    • Schmidtler

      you saw this story is about Mila Kunis, right? Not DeNiro. Nobody’s hiring this chick for her acting chops.

  23. BiJenni

    Kutcher said, “Ya know, I really, really loved you as Jackie. Can you…..please?

  24. I still would. Getting a little chubby, but it’s not a lost cause yet.

  25. Oz Matters

    This is what Ernest Borgnine would look like in the lead role of Tootsie.

  26. Sofia

    Looks like shes bloated or its that time of the month…

  27. irishboyo


  28. Blech

    It’s her neck. Why is her neck so wide now?

    WTF did Ashton give her??

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