1. Contusion

    “Oh sorry sir. When we heard there would be a Seal on board, we just assumed it was…oh, never mind.”

  2. “What do you mean ‘Fetch the captain his dinner and draw him a bath’?”

  3. Wide Open

    Wait! What do you mean you asked for a seal to swim next to the boat for tourists?!… No, I don’t want a fish!

  4. Dina Crackwhore

    “No, stop worrying, it isn’t contagious. Yeah, I get that all the time.”

  5. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    The one thing the survivors always mention is that the Somalian pirates are very polite

  6. EricLr

    $10 says they think he’s one of the new waiters.

  7. Explaining to him why this doesn’t make him a navy seal.

  8. cuddles

    Seal: You got the memo about not touching my cameras, right?
    Crew: Yes sir.
    Seal: Good because the last bitch just wouldn’t listen and I had to divorce her.

  9. “And now, gentlemen, if one of you will kindly direct me to the engine room, I can get right to work…”

  10. CptCreep


  11. Billy Barty, Jr

    “is everybody white on this ship?”

  12. Alexis

    “You mean the only blonde on this ship is that guy, right there, in the middle???”

  13. Diggy

    “Wanna know how I got these scars?”

  14. Bionic_Crouton

    Sailor: “Welcome aboard Seal. I’m a huge fan of your music.”
    Seal: “I’m sorry. you caught me off guard by not saying something racist or stupid.”

    • No shit. It’s France… I think they may have seen one or two black people before.

      • Schmidtler

        Of course they’ve seen black people in France – they’ve been running ‘What’s Happening’ in syndication over there for years!
        Hey Hey Hey!

  15. Finally he can be a Navy Seal.

  16. Jakehotep

    Guess he’s done with women..

  17. “Do you need help?”

    “You poor thing…who clubbed you?”

  18. anansigirls

    Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

  19. Lohan's Parole Officer

    “Excuse me Captain, where da white beotches at?’

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