superficial

  1. JC

    “HE SAID, ‘SIRI, WHERE CAN I FIND A NEW HEART?’!”

  2. Does he just have a permanent sneer now?

  3. ElPollodiablo

    “Uh oh, there’s a problem. I don’t know what dickity means. Can you try again?”

  4. Poor Shawn…

    She’s had this ancient mother fucker in her dead pool for so many years.

    Payday’s coming.

  5. ThrewUpInMyMouth

    If cuckold is what you call someone whose wife is screwing another guy …

    … what do you call a guy whose wife is blowing a horse?

  6. His face always looks like he just pooped, is pooping, or is going to poop in the immediate future because all of that is true.

  7. This is how she got everything she has.

  8. The activia app. Just say how badly you want to poop and we will located a pharmacy reseller near you.

  9. cc

    The moment you uncover your wife’s selfie of her giving a blowjob,

  10. Slappy Magoo

    No Siri, I said Embalming Fluid! EMBALMING FLUID!

  11. This is the face she automatically makes while watching a bank transfer.

  12. Senile Larry thinks he’s getting a blow job right now.

  13. George P Burdell

    Siri, tell Larry that I WISH HE WOULD FUCKING DIE!

  14. “Do you see what is so appealing about John Hamm?”

  15. donkeylicks

    “For God’s sake, it’s Diane.”
    “Sawyer?”
    “She sent me the cucumber video again!”

  16. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Looks like a Cherry 1500, with it’s penchant for back malfunctioning. Surely Larry could’ve afforded the 2000 model.

  17. “How-w-w-w now-w-w-w brown-n-n-n cow-w-w-w. Now go ahead and send that off to each of the Kardashian women…:”

  18. “Why do you have grinder.com on your phone?”
    “I thought it was a sandwich shop. I swear!”

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