1. Weekend at Roberto’s

  2. Cock Dr

    Ms Nlson must subscribe to the philosophy that all dicks are the same in the dark, so why not hook up with one attached to a fabulous Greek vacation & a bazillion dollars?

  3. Pay attention girls: This could be you….

  4. JimBB

    Stop checking my heartbeat, you goldigger!

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    Let me put some sunblock on your chest Grandpa… I mean honey.

  6. after firing the one that holds his beer and the one that scratches his balls, he found solace with the one that mops up the drool

  7. For one terrifying second, I thought this was going to be an uptrunk.

  8. “Na-na-na-na-NINE CORONAS! *hack* *wheeze*”

  9. Lohan's ass zit

    Open casket viewing at the beach?

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      Close – what we’re seeing here is the Last Rites, which are usualy performed on a deathbed indoors.

  10. Sorry, but that guy is livin’ the life we all aspire to. Good for him. Now I better get back to work before I get fired for being on the internets.

  11. They found love in a hopeless place.

    Nope, that’s wrong, I meant cash drenched place. They found love in a cash drenched place.

  12. Palpatine quietly retired to a pleasure world after his hip healed.

  13. Hmm

    Whatever money this gold digger is getting from him, she deserves every penny.

  14. …his daily defibrillatings have become an amusing affair…

  15. “Yep, still beating. …goddammit.”

  16. “Oh come on, it’s just a little embalming fluid. For sexy time.”

  17. whatever

    he.gross she.whore

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