superficial

  1. MarkM

    All she needs is the sign that says “I will work for food.”

  2. “Oh. This is supposed to be for the baby?”

  3. JC

    Let’s just hope that, in spite of the debilitating effects of fetal alcohol syndrome, the child will eventually have the wherewithal and strength to kill his mother and everyone she knows.

  4. bonerspunk

    Does anyone else feel sorry for that child?

  5. And somewhere, back in the store cooler, a baby is wedged between a case of Coors Light and 40 of MIckey’s.

  6. Her ultrasound showed the fetus was a pony keg.

  7. I wasn’t aware she’d already given birth; it looks so healthy, compared to what I’d envisioned!

  8. mrsmass

    why does she have a jogging stroller? you know this cow hasn’t done a shred of exercise ever.

  9. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    Stone the crows, if it ain’t Mary Poppins

  10. Homeless Snooki must have went through all that undeserved Jersey Shore money.

  11. Why does she even HAVE a stroller? She’s been getting around riding a Rascal scooter. Seriously, why does she have one?

  12. DBN

    Get out of the stroller kid! Mommy’s got something more important to put in there.

  13. Emma Watson's Vagina

    RoseMary’s Baby er Garbage.

  14. Oddly enough, that’s exactly how I imagined her baby would look.

  15. killerlizz

    omg i must have missed the birth announcement!!

  16. Jarrod

    “Half Pepsi, half Diet Pepsi. I’m a slim Mommy.”

  17. Anonymous

    Looking more and more like Roseanne Barr every day.

  18. tlmck

    Too bad it’s all in the script.

  19. How sweet to see a mommy-to-be practicing, trying to get used to pushing her “precious cargo” around in a stroller…

  20. DeucePickle

    Didn’t know Coors had a line of baby formula

  21. Unfortunately, there IS a baby in the stroller

  22. little turtle head

    She needs to add more stuff if shes trying to simulate her future babies weight.

  23. rospo

    Oh I see, she’s gonna breastfeed with Pepsi so they can offer her some child-sponsorship… tricky.

  24. ha, she did remember her shoes.

  25. cagster

    Could have sworn she’d end up with a coke baby.

  26. Urvag

    Wow!!! I am shocked. I would’ve expected her to birth some Nattie Light not Coors.

  27. Schweddy Snatch

    Awww how cute! She already has the baby “branded!!!”

  28. The Brown Streak

    Somewhere the CEOs of Coors Brewing Company and Pesico are weeping.

  29. Does anyone know if Child Protective Services books in advance?

  30. Sheppy

    Think the tires need more air in them.

  31. Blech

    Such warmth, such radiance, such a maternal glow…

  32. Visible Ink

    Somewhere in Iran an anti-american poster designer goes: AH, FUCK!

  33. vandinz

    I don’t get it. Last week she couldn’t fart without a rascal scooter, but now she’s OK to walk and push her dinner around with her?

  34. Kinky Minx

    Class personified!

  35. El Jefe

    All class.

  36. Bionic_Crouton

    She’s not pregnant. She’s fat and wanted something to push her alcohol around town.

  37. Radadoon

    I saw a Bag Lady just ike her only with a shopping cart instead of a three-wheeled stroller… How inventive a use of those early baby gifts… She is not as dumb as she looks… couldn’t be!!

  38. Triscuit

    “That was one hell of a baby shower, and look, I got everything I registered for, too!”

  39. Classy

    The caption on this should read, “I didn’t think it was possible to put everything that is wrong with the United States into one picture….until now.”

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