superficial

  1. “Me and my boys just shot a double feature sex tape with the Jenner sisters. It will be “leaked” in October. They do it all. Vivid paid so much for this one.”

  2. dbag

    Come onnnnn battle axe.

  3. Jackmac

    His grill needs braces!!

  4. “Heeyyyyy baby! How’s my favorite punching bag doin’???

  5. Eric

    WHASSUP?

  6. “…uh…. yeah. I’ll have a four-cheese, onion rings, some fries, and a bottle of Sprite… Hello? HELLO? HEY! HELLO! FUCKING ANSWER ME! GET ME MY FUCKING ORDER, BITCH! THE FUCKING NERVE OF THESE FUCKERS. I’LL FUCKING WRECK YOU AND YOUR BOYS!”

    “Chris. You’re talking to a drinks coaster.”

  7. JimBB

    I specifically requested a FEMALE sparring partner!

    ….Yes, I know they’re harder to find!

    …Look, just do it, okay!

  8. “Hello. Is this the gold toofs store?”

  9. t

    Can you understand da words coming outta my mouf?!

  10. Meshuggah Tits

    “I tol’ you I’m GAAAYYYYY!”

  11. Deva

    “Yeah Dawg, you know Jay Z don’t slap that bitch like I do.”

  12. The battery died on that phone two hours ago; but he won’t shut the fuck up long enough to notice.

  13. Why the fuck do women want to be with this double-bagger?

    • Is there anything in the Constitution, or maybe the Declaration of Independence, that says that we have to like this guy? Anything prohibiting someone’s putting a bullet in his brain-pan? (NOTE: No implication made that he has a brain.)

  14. “Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah…ya got me, Bitch? Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah…ya feel me, mother fucker? Fuck wit me an’ I knock yo’ gir’fren”s teef down her t’roat.”

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