superficial

  1. The Shocker for uptight bitches.™

  2. PassingTrue

    Those are some fine legs. Wow.

    Of course she is holding her arms like a T-Rex for some darn reason.

  3. “Rock on Sebastian Bach!”

  4. Flatliner

    Zombies are no different than other creatures. Go for the slow and the handicapped first.

  5. Locke doesn’t give a shit about your non-SmokeMonster god.

  6. “Ronnie James 4-EVAH, pop-fluff prude!”

  7. He was the mightiest of them, but he was the last, and he knew he was beaten. Strange calmness came over Professor Ex as the levitating succubus opened her mouth to bitch about some poor Ex man. He couldn’t have known. Not back then. How could he know?
    But it was still his fault. The first Ex. And that’s why he sent Hugh Jackman to the past, to tell himself not to make that mistake. To stop that first song from being written.
    And it all made perfect sense.

  8. A Realist

    “I may have no use of my legs, but giiiiiiirl….you wreak of desperation, and you ain’t writing no songs about me. Look elsewhere!”

  9. Spanky

    One in the pink, one in the stink!!

  10. Dick Nose

    Look I’m one of you!!

  11. renzomatic

    Is that an older version of David Blaine making her float like that?

  12. “Metal rules you crazy bat-shit person!!!”

  13. The old soldier reverted to the only sign he knew, the “P-Funk” sign, to ward off the towering red-lipped colossus and her catalog of incessant ramblings.

  14. “I said, LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!”

    “I told y’all, Star Wars > Star Trek, crippled guy!”

  15. Swearin

    “Hey Taylor! How ya doing? Tell Satan at your monthly confab that I’m ready to give my soul to walk again. Hail the Prince of Evil, and catch ya later!”

  16. fred

    “No old-ass John Malkovich. I said stay away from me. Gross.”

  17. Those are some sexy legs!

  18. Ralph

    She has enough money to buy herself an ass.

  19. I feel sorry for that guy in a wheelchair, not only can he not walk but in a few months Taylor Swift will have written a breakup song insulting him.

  20. Little Tongue

    “Hey! Pretty girl! Do you fuck for two bucks?”

  21. Vlad

    Rock on Taylor.
    Rock on old man in a wheelchair.

  22. Helena Handbasket

    She’s being forced to the limits of her “sweet, girl next door” persona. He just wants some fucking drugs.

  23. “I’m sorry… the kind and sweet girl you’re looking for is just a character I play on TV and stage. I’m actually a crazy-ass, money-hungry bitch”.

  24. I'ddothat

    “Do you EVEN know what this means, bitch?!” “No… didn’t think so…”

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