superficial

  1. “How did you get this number, Jonah?”

  2. Seen here: How many fucks Leo gives about our comments regarding his weight and facial hair…

  3. Photo credit: J. Hill

  4. JimBB

    To play Orson Welles, I must become him.

  5. He should move to the back of the boat so the propellor goes back into the water.

  6. Hey, Jeremy Miller, I’d like to order a pizza.

  7. cajunhawk

    Marty?…Marty are you there? Pick up, pick up, pick up. Marty I need another movie or I’m gonna end up looking like Dean Cain. Marty…please call me back.

  8. Bob

    “You know, the usual: fucking models all day long. What are you up to, Jonah?”

  9. “Draw me like your French girls” indeed.

  10. Short Round

    You have 1,254 messages from Jonah Hill. If you’d like to listen to them with Jonah Hill commentary, press 1. If you’d like to listen to them live, turn around.

  11. cc

    Hello Sensei? I just ruptured a nut, what do I do now?

  12. “John ( Pfeiffer, Victoria’s Secret’s Casting Director), since Toni just turned 22 it’s time to gear up the replacement tourney. Just start sending over the photos of the 19 year olds you’re casting. We’re sure to find a repalcement by this time next year.”

  13. “Siri, send me exotic vagina.”

  14. George P Burdell

    Saint Tropez? Isn’t that where the Selena Gomez & Cara Delevingne are having their lingerie pillow fights? And they are on the yacht in the next slip over?

    Hey, Bieber! Leonardo is too god for you and he is banging your girlfriend and the VS model who wasn’t interested because she was a “lesbian.”

  15. “…After they called me fat, I totally roundhouse kicked everybody off my boat…what? No I don’t live in my parents basement. I’m really Leonardo Di Caprio.”

  16. Handsome Matt

    Mr Nicholson? yeah it’s going great, I’ll be ready to start shooting your biopic in a few weeks,yeah ,Jonah’s been giving me dieting advice

  17. “Hello, Domino’s? Do you deliver to watercraft?”

  18. Jonah: Hi Leo…do you know what I’m wearing right now?
    Leo: No Jonah…what are you wearing?
    Jonah: Nothing Leo….
    Leo: How many fucking times have I told you to stop calling my collect on my Satellite phone…!!
    Jonah: But…I love you Leo….
    Leo: pretends to still be chatting to some hot model…..

  19. Draw me like one of your french girls.

  20. Swearin

    See, Jack didn’t drown; he was rescued by a yacht, then he gained 50 lbs on whiskey, hamburgers and supermodel vagina.

  21. This is not a gay pose.

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