superficial

  1. I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you’re more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em groundies.

  2. Bold move picking Ice-T to represent you based off his Law and Order experience.

  3. “Sir! Did you know your client was seen in the bathroom taking selfies releasing butterflies from his pants?”

  4. anonymous

    Who is who here? They all look like criminals being escorted by two cops.

  5. JimBB

    I’m not famous. And this is my entourage, my two publicists, my pimp daddy JaySleaze, my full-time DJ, and my girl Lindsay–she’s over there snorting the floor. Again, just a reminder, I’m not famous.

  6. Bob

    “But Shia, I don’t want to wear the little hat!”
    “Look, my lawyer says the judge needs to see that there’s a bigger douche in the courtroom than me so I look like I’ve rehabbed a little bit. You can take it off in the car.”

  7. Short Round

    He may be wearing a suit and tie but like a good boy scout he never dropes the watchful eye. After all hobos attack when you least expect it.

  8. “What are YOU in for?”
    “Murder.”

    “What are YOU in for?”
    “Rape.”

    “What are YOU in for?”
    “I kept hassling Alan Cumming during his performance in Cabaret.”

    “Gentlemen, we’ve found our bitch.”

  9. meeps!

    Wow, you NEVER see a pimp picking his bitches up after court…

  10. dontkillthemessenger

    If the douche does not fit, you must acquit.

  11. I’ve officially reached the point where I just feel sorry for the poor fucker.

  12. Handsome Matt

    if the douche wearing sweatpants tucked into the boots don’t fit, you must acquit

  13. “Thank you all for coming. I will not be answering your questions, I will let my lawyer do the that for me.
    “I’m not the lawyer, I thought you were my lawyer.
    “Oh shit!”

  14. tlmck

    His pimp is also his lawyer?

  15. I don’t think he really cares what anyone thinks and just does the shit he does for attention. Plus, getting into an accident like he was in will fuck with your head. Started then.

    I was saying…he doesn’t give a shit what you people think….he’s worth north of 25 mil….

  16. whatever

    see that desperate worried look in his eyes? oscar pistorious sported the same look in his eyes, later went on to kill GF..

  17. “Hey-hey-hey…don’t be taking pictures of me. It’s not like I’m famous or anything like that. Plus, I am a badass and if you take any more pictures I’ll break your camera and give you a handjob to repent.”

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