1. Nick Nolte’s blood pressure:

    5,325 over 4,259

  2. YES! They’re finally making a “Down and Out in Beverly Hills 2!”

  3. “Now, get this! We ain’t partners. We ain’t brothers. And we ain’t friends. I’m puttin’ you down and keepin’ you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you’re gonna be sorry YOU ever MET me! “

  4. mamamiasweetpeaches

    He was on cover of PEOPLE magazine as SEXIEST MAN ALIVE once.

    And also he had teeth once.

    Yes. Teeth!

  5. Matt Lauer

    No visible incontinence issues, must be early in the day.

  6. catapostrophe

    Nick Nolte’s motto: keep breathing.

  7. Perplexity

    New summer handbag line: The Nolte – it even has room for the spare liver.

  8. Dish

    Despite the Canadian tuxedo, the virgin he just drained of blood wouldn’t have sex with him first.

  9. Henry

    Can he ever just look normal?

  10. PooPoo

    FUCK! He’s a fucking vampire!!!

  11. Bionic_Crouton

    Nick Nolte and his man purse are searching for the Ark of the Covenant or a Hometown Buffet.

  12. Swearin

    iuh oh, Dr. Hammond is making off with the velociraptor DNA.

  13. meeps!

    Nick Nolte has been Herman Munster this whole time!?!

  14. cc

    “So, what are you symptoms? Oh dear.”

  15. “Am I late for my closeup, Mr. Demille?”

  16. Franka

    Was he not wearing this same ensemble last week, when he was mocked cruelly on this very site? Only last week he appeared to be holding a squirt gun in his hand? Well, mock him again, I say. Certainly he owns a clean change of clothing.

  17. tlmck

    Let’s see. Garage, Nolte, remote detonator. What could go wrong?

  18. squishy

    Sauntered by the Elizabeth Arden counter and couldn’t help himself!

  19. Now, I’m for Obama’s death panels.

  20. mbcl

    “Brother can you spare a dime ?”

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