superficial

  1. Fat? In what world is this lovely creature fat?

    Only in the world of models, where the women are 6’3″ and zero body fat.

    • Slappy Magoo

      I could be wrong – I’m not really bright – but I think Fish is implying that the haters who would call Teigen ugly are fat. Hence “fat haters” versus “fat-haters.”

      • I’m thinking somebody called her a pig, because of her beat face, and she mistook the insult as a comment about her weight.

      • It’s not about being fat, she’s obviously not fat and anyone who calls her that is an idiot. From the neck down she’s awesome. The problem is her super ugly face.

  2. I do not find her attractive so suck it.
    Also never implied I have dated a super model but here is some perspective for you people who love her looks so much
    Cara Delevingne
    Is also considered a super model…
    So by your own pathetic logic none of us could have possibly ever dated someone as good looking as her either right….

    • Let me guess, you read that book by that nerd asshole who claims to be a Pickup Artist, and key to his “advice” is to “neg” pretty girls (insult them for no reason) to get them to “want” you.

      How’s that workin’ out for ye, me bucko? Lost your virginity yet?

      • The main trick there is to cast your gimmick net wide enough and of course it’s going to work. I suspect that pretty girls are used to attention so negative attention might work on some of them, especially if they fake their way through low self esteem. But then again, I could probably bang a different pretty girl every day by just saying “Wanna fuck?” to enough drunk pretty girls. Stupid psychological tricks work on stupid people. Like getting into chicks panties. And convincing loser dudes to buy your book.

      • I know you are a simpleton so let me try to explain this to you in terms you may grasp.
        You derp
        Not all other men not derps.
        I have never read any books about picking up women and do not treat them like crap and never have.
        But if we are back to assumptions hows that blow up girlfriend treating you.
        Just keep pasting various girls faces on it and pretending like that means you have really been laid.
        So feel free to fuck off.

      • So in other words, you’re fifteen and bored on summer vacation. Got it.

      • I am older than you and by a long shot.
        Your inability to grasp that there are millions of women who are hot and with average guys only proves my point you are not very bright and women most likely find you creepy stalkerish so you cannot pick up any of them.

        So was some part of fuck off unclear to little derp boy.

      • To Whom It May Concern:

        Gentlemen, while I’m sure everyone’s enthralled with your dazzling oratories about your courting rituals, taste in models and other piquant braggadocio, I and many others come here for one reason and reason only. Jokes.

        Now then, if you bumbling Nancies want to sit around and argue over who’s “poundin’ more primo ‘tang” or some such low hanging blather — understood of course to mean not “poundin’” any — please deport to your nearest campus fraternity house, gaming site or high school cafeteria line and leave the witticisms to Fish and the grownups.

        Sincerely,
        We, the Brotherhood of Giving No Fucks

      • What, you’re being forced to read the comments? They have your eyes propped open like Alex in A Clockwork Orange?

      • I’m here to read the comments, short stack, what are you a MacArthur Fellow?

  3. Wemma Atson

    While I will not sit here and tell you she is ugly, I will also not agree with your perspective. She does absolutely nothing for me. That does not take anything away from her, or how you should feel about her – only that, subjectively speaking, it’s dead fish for me.

    Now if we were talking about Nina Agdal…

  4. If that’s considered “fat” then I’m a chubby chaser.

  5. duder

    She’s Jenna Haze levels of gorgeous. RJ, where are my fisting gloves? You want in on this?

  6. She’s hot. Really, really hot. No fucking chance anyone associated to the Superficial in any way ever dated a girl as hot as she is. If each one of us would have banged a girl of that caliber, Fish and Photo Boy wouldn’t be running this website at all, and the rest of us (me included) would have better things to do then come up snappy comments about dumb celebs doing dumb things. ‘Know why? ‘CAUSE OUR LIFE WOULD BE TOTALLY BETTER IN EVERY SINGLE WAY.

    ‘Nuff said.

    • Wemma Atson

      Have you ever been on a resort vacation?

      If you’re even just moderately attractive, it’s easy to nail 10/10′s in that environment, so long as you are capable of listening and offering up valid retorts. Vacation romances are by far the easiest. I actively flirted and picked up a gem right in front of her mother, whom I was engaging in the conversation simultaneously.

      Then again it’s easy under any environment if you’re just remotely good at observation. Girls are so easy to read, there are so many tells that will subtly guide you in the direction they want you to go in.

      You should buy my book -

      Just kidding, I didn’t write one. Fact of the matter is, as it was mentioned earlier and countless other times, every girl is different and that is why trying these “pick-up” tricks is just sad and ineffective. Just listen to the bitch, and have something interesting to offer up in reply. You’d be surprised how far charm and wit can get you in life, regardless of how physically attractive you are or not.

      Of course it helps if you have awesome genes.

      • Nope, life is all looks and money. Our parents were wrong. About everything.

      • Pat C.

        “If you’re even just moderately attractive”

        sigh …

      • Wemma Atson

        To be perfectly fair, it really isn’t that hard to be attractive. Forget genes for a second, facial structure and the things you obviously have no control over, unless you want to fork over a bunch of money for plastic surgery that will leave you looking like a plastic doll.

        The bare minimum, you know, like maintaining a healthy weight and staying fit and in shape is really not that hard. It really isn’t it. I hate to address the elephant in the room but most people are just lazy and take very bad care of themselves. Microwave meals, sitting on their ass in an office all day, poorly groomed with a bad haircut. These are simple things, I really don’t get the self-entitlement of people who think because they are nice they deserve the world when they don’t even treat themselves nicely and take proper care of themselves.

        My 0.02$.

  7. JimBB

    Why is she being followed by 80′s Wayfarer guy?

  8. She is beautiful.

  9. I think she looks good. Not top shelf but she’ll do in a pinch.

  10. Here we have at our fingertips – THE INTERNET. Every bit of information ever gleaned from every resource on this planet throughout history – and we use it to argue with strangers and look at pictures of cats. – S. Freud

    Although only a recent participant, I have been coming to this sight for several years for 2 reasons.
    1. The stories, captions, and user commentaries are consistently very funny.
    2. Almost all these women that are subject to consistent snarkiness and ridicule from “us” are actually incredibly attractive (Kim, Lindsay, Rihanna, Taylor, this Chrissy person, etc.).

    • Jack

      Which ‘Kim’ are you refering to? Cuz’ unless you’re into Elephant Sex if you think the pee-queen is attractive you need your eyes checked, and checked STAT.

  11. She’s got a killer figure, but what really does it for me is that she’s clever, funny, foul-mouthed and loves food. That’s 4 for 4 right there.

  12. Fat? I’d say she needs MORE meat on her body. And by meat, I mean my penis. and by “her body”, I mean “any part of her I can reach with my penis”.

  13. Flatliner

    So she almost has a pug nose, she is still pretty and in great shape. Besides, pugs’ are cute and it sure is better than going under the knife for an MJ nose.

  14. She’s a butterface. Period.

  15. …i only wish fish were serious, ’cause then i could sit here tapping my fingertips together in evil delight at his outrage, the same way he does at our nerd rage over the injustices done to our beloved comic book heroes …would totally serve him right, the dick.

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