Roughly translated, “dojo” means, house where fat man admires manicures.
Either that or it means “All you can eat buffet.”
Steven is taking the “black is slimming” effect to the next level
At this rate, the “next level” is that of whales, submarines, and Kardashians. It doesn’t work for any of them.
“If you like it the you shoulda put a ring on it.”
How seriously can you take a dojo if the sensei is wearing a black denim jacket, jeans, a du rag and shades?
What makes you think he’s the sensei, Zaloogie?
It’s his dojo.
In a single move I can shatter this man’s wrist in a thousand places…hold still while I…hold still…fine…if you can’t hold still then I guess you won’t get to see me shatter your wrist in a thousand places. I don’t need this shit…I’m Steven Seagal.
If Steven Seagal gains any more weight, he’ll have to change his name to Kardashian.
Well, at least he is not wearing that black rug he uses for hair
“REALLY?!?!?! PALMOLIVE?!?!? REALLY PALMOLIVE?? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
“Just a splinter. Let me just go ahead and rip it out WITH MY BEAR TEETH!!”
I wish I had bear teeth.
We have the right to bear arms if that helps.
So, today his wig of choice is made of cotton?
Now you… see. If… you drink toooo much… Cognac… and don’t pay attention… you can just twist here and… Oops!
Okay, I showed you some martial arts, now where are those onion rings you promised?
“But what if he were to come at you with… a RIPE BANANA??!”
“And this move, this is why Kelly LeBrock can’t sign autographs anymore.”
Seagal knows it’s easy to make a frenchman surrender.
Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.
Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
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