1. It’s been 253 days, 7 hours, and 2 minutes since we started holding hands…. I may have to end my life to get out of this…

  2. Short Round

    Enough already! She did not look at your shirt and want to ask about bicycles. No, I’m not letting you go back to check!

  3. JimBB

    “Oooohhhh, we’re in LOS ANGELES! Well, thanks for wearing it on your t-shirt to let me know, then!”

  4. “Honey, take it easy …”
    “Yeah, that’s right! Husband! Partner! Groom! Spouse! Husband! Partner! Groom! SPOOOOUUUUSE!”

  5. “Let’s sing the ‘were so in love song’ while we walk…again.”

  6. Countdown to suicide starts now.

  7. “Oh Ryan…we’re so much in love!”
    “Do you still make a buttload of money?”
    “Then yes…we’re so much in love.”

  8. ThrewUpInMyMouth

    “I do want to do anal!”
    “Like I a give fuck?!?”
    “It HURTS!”
    “Tough. Unless you WANT to go back to the broke ass life of a ‘tennis pro’ …? Didn’t think so, now let’s go get me a bigger strap-on.”

  9. Josephus

    Apparently Kaley Cuoco has a type, and that type is awful nerd haircuts.

  10. Holy Crap, Leonard got tall during the summer!

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