superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    If you’re dumb enough to ride it don’t complain about how humiliating it was when it’s over.

  2. “Didn’t explode. Wouldn’t ride again.”

  3. Lucion

    Poor Jenna Wolfe there. You can see she’s freaked out by Michael Bay. She’s usually a wild one who’s rarely freaked out by anything.

  4. Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?

  5. Perplexity

    In a slow reveal, Michael lets a fan see the artistic preview rendering of his new ride, Cocktimus Prime.

  6. Michael, you can pretty much get any trim you want so what the hell are you doing with that dog?

  7. it had to be said

    If Rosie Perez and Rachel Ray had a baby it’d be the chick in that picture.

  8. The Pope

    *exit: Michael Bay from ride. Camera starts a half speed pan starting at his right ankle, circling around him before stopping to focus on his right profile.

    *cue explosions

  9. squiggy

    It’s obviously a transformers ride, they even digitally touched up J Wolfe so that she looks good. That’s some of Michael’s best work right there. Plus the ride has better writing by default

  10. FanGirl

    this guy is so creepy

  11. Maurice St Claire

    In every photo of Michael Bay , there’s always a girl who is saying everything with her eyes. In this case, it’s “Your fingers feel like sandpaper on my Special Purpose !”

  12. The Brown Streak

    “You know what would make this ride better? If there were signs that said ‘white people only’” – Michael Bay

  13. “Why am I suddenly so horned out? Did someone open a can of Turtle Wax in here?”

  14. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    “Come with me Wendy and you’ll never have to worry about grown up things again”

  15. Lord Invader

    There’s a cheat in Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 that make everyone in the whole park puke. All you have to do is click on a person and rename them to “Michael Bay” .

  16. Swearin

    “That was awesome! Who do I talk to to get the ball rolling on Pearl Harbor: The Ride?”

  17. Short FB!

    like moped

  18. Chelsea Clinton is looking GREAT these days!

  19. donkeylicks

    “For Tense Forth News, I’m Grant Runyon”

  20. Every time I see this guy I’m thinking he escaped from a Hall & Oates cover band.

  21. PirateHunter

    “Ummm…I can smell you staring at my ass.”

  22. tlmck

    “It’s surpisingly bigger than you thought right?”

  23. kuhkuhkuh

    look at his evil face. evil evil face

  24. spartacus

    “Hmmmmmm, needs more lens-flare”

  25. There’s something sort of interesting about that young woman…like she’d be an easy fuck and wouldn’t tell anyone out of pure gratitude.

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