superficial

  1. Isaac better be serving Viagra martinis.

  2. CC

    Captian Crunch in the fleash!

  3. The Skipper has lost a lot of weight since Gilligan died.

  4. It had to be said

    Time to shove off in the S.S. Wrinkled Balls I see. First Mate? Larry King, of course.

  5. He is looking for some hot 20 year old to sail on his good ship lollipop.

  6. The Critical Crassness

    The Mummy returns to the scene of earlier exploits, London!

  7. cc

    ‘I had better go check on the withered cock, er, weathercock!’

  8. “Hey Hef, Why do you always wear that hat?”

    “I love motorboating”

    DadanumbCHING

  9. GeneralEmergeny

    Why does the life preserver in the yachting cap insignia look more like a hemorrhoid pillow?

  10. i bet if he looses the smile, all his flesh will fall off.

  11. Popeye be grabbin’ his junk.

  12. MisterSuccint

    Geriatric seaman.

  13. Colin

    I wonder if he realizes that the only people who wear those hats anymore are actual seaman and the gays.

  14. Heffer

    Arrggg… dead men tell no ta– wait. I stand corrected.

  15. baron of all media

    “How’d you like to mow my lawn??”

  16. g-moonie

    “Who wants to ride my little dingy?”

  17. annie from fremantle

    Hugh learns that the captain always goes down on…uh with the ship!

  18. UnholyKrep

    So they’re doing a live action Mr. Magoo movie? Cool.

  19. whiskeyafternoon

    the SS Colostomy is headed to sea!

  20. Shorty80

    “Where am I? Who pooped in my pants?”

  21. Incontinence, ahoy!

  22. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
    A tale of aged Playboy
    That lived in his carnal mansion
    Filled with many toys.

    The geezer was a Viagra-taking man,
    His concubines are blondes wearing pearls.
    Twelve 30-second wrinkled orgams
    In one dozen girls, one dozen girls.

    The Mansion started getting sick,
    The hot tub was infested,
    Venereal disease in the water
    It should be tested, it should be tested.

    The Mansion was a meeting place of the naked and the nude
    With Hefner
    The daughter too,
    The whores and their dogs,
    The hot tub
    The celebrities and porn stars,
    Here on Hefner’s Isle.

  23. Hugh’s girlfriends always *shudder* when they see that hat, because they know that the Captain is expecting them to start bobbing with his “playbuoy”.

  24. Tyler

    Boats and Hoes

  25. I guess they found a new captain for the Cornelia Maria.

  26. Kim Khlamydia

    Awww, he doesn’t look a day over 107.

  27. KC

    It was nice of the Mayflower to let him keep the captain’s hat.

  28. mordantmouth

    Actively looking for semen…

  29. cutthecrap

    is it just me or does he looked like he just dropped a deuce in his drawers?

  30. As old as it is, his dick sees more action that 80% of the ‘droid tapping douchebags who leave comments here

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