1. R. Jeremy

    Her cataracts blunted the shock of his utterly joyless facial cumshot.

  2. No madam , you are not boring me….

  3. He preferred the memory. She was thirty-five, newly divorced, vivacious, and looking for adventure; he was sixteen, the pool boy, and naive in the ways of love…

  4. “Are you the Pope, young man?”
    “No, Majesty, I only play the Pope on cable.”
    “I see. Carry on!”

  5. “I’m sorry Jeremy…you’re too old for me.”

  6. Tennessee Tuxedo

    “I’m sorry Jer but I’m breaking up with you. You’re always so melodramatic. You’re such a buzzkill. It’s driving me crazy.Look at mer Jer! I”m only 35 for god’s sake!

  7. No mater how much time passed, no mater how many other women he had, Humbert could never stop longing for the days he spent with his young Lolita.

    Hey, it was either that or some joke about Jeremy Irons falling so low he can barely live with the fact that he’s been reduced to giving old ladies pearl necklaces.

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