Where’s a rag soaked with chlorophyll when you need one?
Where’s lotion and some tissues when you need some?
I carry those on me at all times. Where will you be when the urge to fap arrives?
Something tells me Deacon’s celebrity kidnapping career is destined to be short.
But, it will smell great.
you never know when you’ll need to perform photosynthesis.
saying words wrong on porpoise never gets old
(aggressively grabs her from behind)
“Try these LEAFS on for size! Mmm!”
Don’t let the haters get to you man…just say you wanted her to ‘get tough with her breath’.
Thin privilege is being able to pull your shirt away from your stomach. #yesallfatties
Me: Let me help you with your bags.
Candice: Does your penis need to be out while your doing that?
Penis: Hell yeah bitch! (My penis is very vulgar.)
That’s very nice.
Amen — so healthy.
LOL at old dumpy bag to her right wearing same shirt.
She looks good any at any time, at any place. Dear Lord!
Yet, when I pull on her t-shirt she has a fit.
And the no matter how much magic the great Wizard Hermione waved her magic wand, no spell could make her tiny boobies grow.
Whoever invented skinny jeans for women needs a Nobel Peace Prize. Conversely, whoever invented skinny jeans for men needs to be put before a firing squad.
i feel like skinny jeans for men came first around the time of
the bee gees.
regardless, i think the guy who invented yoga pants deserves the nobel prize way more than the skinny jeans guy.
You realize that a woman with an ass like that never besmirches her ass by farting…they just don’t.
“I thought is was only my shoes?”
“And thought it was just when you got ON the plane?”
“And, don’t TSA agents usually have their pants ON?”
“Oh… well, alright.”
It looks as though she didn’t escape the fusillade of spontaneous ejaculation after all.
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Candice Swanepoel at JFK Airport in New York City. (June 11, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News