superficial

  1. It’s their secret handshake. He marvels at Willis’s shaved dome and cups his balls at the same time.
    Those 2 rascals…

  2. Batu Khan

    - I know it was you. You broke my heart, Bruce. You broke my heart.
    - What?! How?! What?!
    - Shhh. That’s the twist.

  3. Isn’t that just the cutest lil’ punim!

  4. M. Night: “I haven’t made anything worth watching in years”
    Bruce: “I know.”

  5. “Bruce, I’ll let you in on the biggest twist of all…I was never any good”

  6. dontkillthemessenger

    How could a face like this be the father of those monsters?

  7. “I see Bruce Willis.”

  8. “Man I’ve missed you! Remember when we did a movie together that made money?”

  9. JosephusBlow

    “You may think I’m joking but seriously Bruce, stop having children. You’re scaring people.”

  10. angerinside

    “Two more Die Hards and you’ll be begging ME to make a movie with you AAAHAHAHAHAH>”

  11. “I see dead careers.”

  12. The twist is that I directed it, but you don’t find that out until after you’ve paid for your ticket and watched the previews.

  13. “I have a part for you in “Last Airbender 2!”
    “Pass!”

  14. Jerkface

    “No, no, Bruce, I’m telling you the truth, Rumer’s face is not one of my shocking twist endings, although I wish I had written it!”

  15. lawn

    A hack and a has-been. Which is which is up to you.

  16. frostiebox

    “Omigosh! You’re so right! Your balls are as smooth as your freshly shaven face!”

  17. lucya

    if you cut bruce out it’s the perfect poster for a bollywood movie

  18. “When it’s freshly shaven your face is as soft as your wife’s ass…”

  19. cc

    “Hang on, lemme me just measure your chin. No, no, problem, just curious.”

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