Ryan Lochte competing at the 50th Annual Mel Zajac Jr. International at the UBC Aquatic Centre in Vancouver. (May 29, 2013) -Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Fist me! Come on…. Fist me! Why are you looking at me like that?
“What do you mean you’ve never been in a fountain this deep?”
“Dude, get the fuck away from me.”
“Fist bump!! you people do that, right?”
She hasn’t been this upset since the time she ran into Chris Brown at the beach.
“Awesome swim! Give Aquaman a fist bump.”
“Uh, you’re not Aquaman.”
“Well, my mom says I am. Plus, I swim like a fish, I’m ridiculously fit, and I once had sex with a dolphin. Now, fist bump me!”
“I’m getting out of the pool.”
“Whatever. Up, up, and away!”
“I heard you people couldn’t swim! Gimme sum!”
And so “Little Boots” shows us his water dance.
“It’s cool to do this now! I mean, no more separate drinking fountains, right??”
“What are those bubbles?”
“Very funny, Jayna. Shape of… a negro? Let’s try this again. Wonder Twins Activate. Form of… a swimming pool….”
Thought bubble over the girl’s head: “Why is the water around here suddenly getting warm?”
Thought bubble above Lochte’s head: “Hello, hello, hello?…Echo, echo, echo…”
“Dur … I’m Superman! I’ll save you Lois Lane!”
“Get me the hell out of here!”
Dude I was just standing over here to pee.
“Um, that better be a pool noodle.”
“No, it’s my …. wait, did someone say pool noodle?? Squee!!!”
Clearly her last fisting experience did not go well.
“I did too beat you and if you don’t admit it I’ll jam this thing right down your goddamn throat!”
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