Blanda Eggenschwiler and Joe Jonas in New York City. (May 21, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“I was just trying to express myself. Can’t you understand that?”
“Expressing yourself is fine. Doing it naked on top of the delivery boy is another.”
Of course he’s gay. No straight guy would date a girl
named “Blanda Eggenschwiler”.
I swear I sent the bearding check. No need to get bitchy.
Which one is the guy?
Now vee dance.
“Honey, you look so pretty today.”
“Really? Oh gosh, thank you, Blanda”
You have to respect a man who will marry a woman named Blanda Eggenschweiler. You just do.
One of them has gone butch to match their name. The other? Well, life is probably a bitch.
Knock-kneed Emo Goose.
Straight guys only do that when the national anthem is playing.
“Gosh, Blanda, I really appreciate your loaning me your pants, and I swear to gawd, I’ll return them to you as soon as we get to my place.”
“I’m just saying that maybe this beard thing would work a lot better if you’d stop making that gesture every time we pass a cute guy.”
This morning I woke up, stretched and thought “Blanda Eggenschwiler”. It’s possible I’m here too much. :)
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