1. B&WMinstrel

    “Good speech! I don’t think they picked up on the horses drowning.”

  2. 1hunglo

    “The pathword is: clitoriss”

  3. dontkillthemessenger

    Rihanna is not available to come to your hotel suite tonight, but I can get you beautiful, young, talented Disney actress Amanda Bynes.

  4. Sorry Sir, we can’t find a pool table anywhere. Not after your last visit to Vegas.

  5. My Lord, I am SO sorry about yesterday; we just assumed “Chris Christie” was the name of a female porn star.

  6. “It’s Stephanie Seymour, sir. She’s here and she’s asking for you. Do us all a favor, and please, don’t November Rain her.”

  7. JungleRed

    “If you need a break, we’ll get Seth Rogen to fill in for you.”

  8. EricLr

    Hey, check out the knockers on the filthy commoner in the second row.

  9. Pip Pip Cheery-O

    “…and then she trips, impaling herself on his dick. How dirty do I have to make this joke before you’ll laugh, Harry?”

  10. “Pssssst! It’s okay! Underneath this jacket, I’m wearing my “I’m the straight one” t-shirt!”

  11. MIRV

    He’s warning him about the next pic.

  12. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    “I have it on good authority that for 5 million pounds your brother could find himself having a rather nasty car accident in a Parisian tunnel, clearing the way for you to be the next King.”

  13. “Your deodorant has failed you!”

  14. Pine Table Fever

    ‘…hey, kid, I know this isn’t the time but can I just say after a few drinks your mother used to do this amazing trick with a mallet and polo ball.’

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